Glimpse Into My World

http://www.prettyacel.mutiply.com

2007-11-23T22:04:00.000+08:00

Seems i have long forgotten this account. Go checkout my multiply site. =)

NIcknames

2006-10-19T12:19:00.000+08:00

For Pat, and everyone else who may find this interesting...

Yacel - how I'm called by my most of the people who know me (childhood playmates, close relatives, colleagues, schoolmates, orgmates, friends)
Yaz - close friends
Roselle - professors, acquaintances, some friends from elementary and high school, or mom when I haven't been a good girl
Baby - mom, without the moods
Honey - mom, on lambing mode
Kikai - mom and her friends
Pukingking - ONLY my Lolo and Lola call me this!!!
Ate Tingting - my super lovable little cousins and their parents
Bonj - my gorgeous KALBO girls
Bonjskie - Kay
Bonjita - Kathy
Ate Yace - Benjo
Te Ya - roommates Joie and Eleiza
Tabachingching/Tabaching/Tabz (depending upon my "inflation rate") - those unfortunate visually impaired guys (Allan, Bars, Ozie)
Fatfat - Patpat (Erikson), he's obviously visually impaired as well
Baby Sis - my one and only Brother Bear Kietly
Hasel - Eszard's Tiyo Maning (he must have learned of what a hassle I can be sometimes, hehe..)
Mahal - my mahal

Dilemma

2006-10-16T19:31:00.000+08:00

To go, or not to go?
To KEM's outing/applicants' Final Rites, that is...

This has been one helluva sem, and I have been so looking forward to moments of rest and recreation. This outing would have been the perfect chance. Plus, as Buddy Committee Head I would really want to be there as our buddies, 40 plus of them, take their final step and officially become part of the KEM family.

However, going to the FR would mean not being with my Eszard on his birthday!!! And the day after, I'm already bound to fly home for a 2-week vacation.

Decisions... Decisions...

Why does it often have to be so hard to arrive at one?
It pains me to make this choice. He may not say it, I know it pains him more.
(Speaking of pains, the outing expenses also hurt my budget!)

But I know he understands. My obligations come first. He knows that. It has ALWAYS been that way (from EC term, and all). It is the right thing to do I know, but I just don't feel right. I just hope this outing is worth all the sacrifices.

We Just Turned One!

2006-09-27T09:04:00.000+08:00

I thought this post would be super mushy... But I found myself at a loss for words...

HAPPY first ANNIVERSARY!!! =)
Yes, I am happy, and blessed, and still so in love...
Beyond words... =)

NOT another melancholic September 24

2006-09-24T21:38:00.000+08:00

It's funny how I've always dreaded this date. For a couple a years, there was only one way for me to spend this day - crying. It reminded me of one of my life's biggest mistakes.

Today was just so different. No reminiscing, no regrets, no tears. A clear sign that I have indeed moved on... totally.

I guess it's true what some people say, "When God closes a door He opens a window". Now I understand why it took Him quite a while to open that window, He was preparing something even better for me. And I needed to free myself from pain and blues, so I could appreciate what beauty He has laid out for me. It's amazing how He does things in His perfect timing.

That guy may have been a mistake, poor me to have had him for a first. Still I have him to thank - for making me a LOT stronger and wiser, among other things. I just don't get why some ladies don't learn, being part of his "collection" isn't at all fun.

Things do happen for a reason. Now I'm happy, and so looking forward to the anniversary of my heart's rebirth (three days to go!).

Most Promising Music Video

2006-09-17T21:01:00.000+08:00

check out http://prettyacel.multiply.com/video.

Congrats VolleyBoys!

2006-09-15T22:49:00.000+08:00

CONGRATULATIONS to the Chemical Engineering Men's Volleyball team for winning the Battle for Third!

It was victory well-earned... Grabe, super exciting nung game! Too bad only a few got to watch since it was held someplace far from civilization (hehe...), and most of the students have exams scheduled tomorrow (including me, I have two!!!). With that I end this post.

Check out www.prettyacel.multiply.com for SOME pix (I only got to take a few since the game got me busy).

Text Addict

2006-09-13T22:46:00.001+08:00

It isn't always easy to discover one's potentials.

I can do a lot of things, yet I could hardly claim I am good at something.
However, there's this one talent I recently discovered. (Recently, as in just yesterday). And that is................................. (drum roll please) tadan, "texting" PRONTO!
(Haha, akala niyo seryosong talent?)

My mom always complains of what a text addict I am. She never fails to comment on how fast I type messages, and how I succesfully do that while pretending to be paying attention to her (meaning, "texting" without looking at my keypads at all).

It wasn't until yesterday when people considered me as "the person to beat" when I fully realized that. It was funny how they were concocting strategies such as stealing my phone, breaking my phalanxes, and even kidnapping me. (Don't get me wrong, these are all just for FUN... My orgmates aren't that evil... Or not? Haha!)

Anyway, the game was supposed to start at 5:30 pm. For some reason it was delayed an hour. I was feeling really feverish that afternoon, but I had to stay to play the game (thus giving me the chills the entire evening). I was even supposed to meet a friend I haven't seen in 3 years, but had to cancel, just so I could play the game. (Ooops, hope she doesn't read this!)

Contrary to what you may think, Pabilisan Magtexteng'g was no-nonsense. It made me reflect on the more serious things in life:
*It takes a great deal of passion and constant practice to achieve a certain level of proficiency.
**Speed isn't everything. To win, you need not haste. Care of the details is also essential.
***Winning a competition takes many other factors. It shouldn't dictate your self-worth. In any game, giving your BEST makes you a winner.

Cliche, but true.

ChE Bangs!

2006-09-13T21:59:00.000+08:00

Watched the Battled for Third in Women's Volleyball last Monday. I was there to cheer my ChE team, who played against CE. With flaglets, balloons and all, and quite a number of other ChE students we shouted our hearts out, believing it could somehow invite luck to our side of the court. Not the yelling type, I felt obliged to cheer, leaving my tonsils sore after the game.

Unfortunately, CE emerged victorious after winning the first three sets. It was fun, though. Our players did put up a good fight. Special mention to Giselle who amazed everyone with her best play, so far.

The boys are in for the Battle for Third (why do we always have to fight for third place???) this Friday, I guess. Our cheering skills will be needed, again. I just hope this time it works.

Congrats Buddy!

2006-09-01T07:04:00.000+08:00

I doubt she's going to read this. Still want to post anyway.

Yipee! So glad the hardest part's finally over. Being a buddy gave me the jitters as well. Never felt being taken care of on the entire course of my application process. That explains how well I take care of her. A little more heart and a little more effort and you'll be a certified KEMer soon! The privilege to be part of this SUPERB family ay hindi napupulot sa tabi-tabi lang. Haha, I deemed that most effective said that way. You'll understand soon every bit and piece of your application process, and I hope it molds you into the BEST KEMer you could possibly be.

Quotable Quote #1:"Sorry talaga buddy, sana maging friends pa rin tayo kahit 'di na 'ko applicante".
Quotable Quote #2:"Magalit na silang lahat sa akin, huwag lang ang buddy ko!"

Haha! Let this be one of the most memorable days of your life. I bet favorite characters mo na sina Krystala, Sabina, Action Man, Capt. Barbel, at Cyclops sa ngayon.

MAY Baby

2006-08-31T22:52:00.001+08:00

Born in MAY, I'm supposed to be:

Stubborn and hard-hearted ~ nah, kay eszard lang ;p
Strong-willed and highly motivated ~ to some extent
Sharp thoughts ~ qualified
Easily angered ~ depends, not in most cases
Attracts others and loves attention ~ indeed
Deep feelings ~ absolutely
Beautiful physically and mentally ~ yeah, right
Firm Standpoint ~ not really
Needs no motivation ~ not at all
Shy towards opposite sex ~ giggles!
Easily consoled. ~ got a bar of chocolate? or a warm hug would do
Systematic (left brain). ~ right brain
Loves to dream. ~ who doesn't?
Strong clairvoyance. ~ perhaps
Understanding. ~ very
Sickness usually in the ear and neck. ~ you mean deafness? Haha...
Good imagination. ~ so NOT me
Good physical. ~ just the average
Weak breathing. ~ yup yup =(
Loves literature and the arts. ~ much more than unit operations and thermodynamics!
Loves traveling. ~ how i MISS traveling! =(
Dislike being at home. ~ uh-uh, i'm a certified homebody!
Restless. ~ i don't think so
Not having many children. ~ one would do
Hardworking. ~ yup
High-spirited. ~ yeah baby!

If you repost this in the next 5 minutes, you will become close to someone you do not speak too much in the next 4 days. ~ oh, crap!

Callalily's Rocket Launch

2006-08-31T20:52:00.000+08:00

Wen't to CALLALILY's album launch at Metro Bar last night with Lou, Joel, and Julie Pearl. We had SO MUCH fun (since we got in there for FREE, haha!!!) Thanks Sir Henrri, for giving us the complimentary passes intended for COLORPOINT... Not only did we get in for free, we got to take the frontmost table, alongside press people and other VIP's!!! Kean and the rest of the band were within reach, really! Proximity was greatest during Catharsis, of course, (*wink*).

It was just great watching them perform. Great music, though the lyrics were kinda high school-ish (Lou noticed this first but who cares, they're really hot and this made him an official "Callalista"). They're a talented bunch of kids. Yes, kids. The fact that they're just 17- and 18-year olds makes Joel really sad. He was saying something about ruining their lives at a very early age. Oh well, achieving what they've always dreamed of, at an early age, ain't that bad either. Their single "Stars" recently topped notches at MYX and LS FM. And I just know it, weeks from now they'll make even bigger waves!

Sigh, Kean (on vocals) is just so hot! Those eyes, and the voice! Man, he just got me mesmerized.
Aaron (on bass) is cute too, though he gives Joel this "Brokeback" vibes.
I barely heard Tatsi (guitarist) speak on the entire duration of the launch. Really mysterious, and this makes him super sexy.
Alden (lead guitarist, plays the drums and sings well too) I don't really find physically attractive, but there's just something in him which makes him so lovable (no doubt he captured Lou's heart easily).
Lemuel (on drums) plays really well, not minding being isolated from the rest by a wall of fibre glass or something. He rocks!

The night was just so fabulous! The PhP85 mango juice and cab fare (trying to beat dorm curfew) were all worth it!

Those Were The Days

2006-08-29T21:49:00.000+08:00

The four "men" I'll always consider special... The four "men" I have learned so much from...

They did more than just touch my life... They taught me a lot about life and friendship... about dealing with problems and other people... If not for them I would probably still be the crybaby, the telenovela protagonist I used to be...

Our nightly Mcdo moments (the petty fights over whose Coke float looks and tastes better), the cyclic conversations, the sunken fellowship - these and more were some the best moments of my life...

I missed them a LOT...

Thanks to SILVER RAIN (and Gary's persuation), I finally got this memento...

We may gave taken slightly different paths... However these four "men" have done so much for them to earn their permanent posts not just in my memory, but in my heart as well...

SILVER RAIN finally poured

2006-08-27T14:01:00.000+08:00

For two months or so, been working so hard for this... This is what actually got me back to blogging... I so wanted people to know about the event I poured my heart and soul into...

During the event. some things came up... No matter how we prepare for things, some unexpected nuisances just show up... They got me really disappointed... Not getting my PERFECT show made me believe I was a failure... A loser...

Thanks, Lou... Your post surely changed all that... And the people who sent messages, congratulating the event's success... It's more than fulfilling to know you enjoyed the show... To everyone who contributed to Silver Rain's success, my sincerest appreciation...

SILVER RAIN

2006-08-23T23:49:00.000+08:00

After having been gone for THIRTEEN months, something finally got me back to blogging!!! This... I just had to post this... =)

And this...

Missin the FO Peepz!!!

2005-07-20T11:20:00.000+08:00

Yup, I know it's a bit too late for this!
Wala lang, feel ko lang i-post ngayon, since I never got the chance to do so in the past 2 months, hehehe... Just reminiscin' times with the Steering Com... =)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The fruit of our hardwork!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

hmmm... absent ako sa ES lab, dahil dito (got a grade of zero for lab exercise)... Pewo OK lang, the joy in each freshie's face was super fulfilling! =) I also enjoyed sliding down the Titanic... And I got to play Paintball!!! =) Ang saya sobra!!! =) Sana mapatawad ako ni Russ for shooting him (my team mate), hahaha!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And this!!!

Woohoo!! FRESHteeg talaga!!!

Sobrang na-haggard kami with the performers, the sponsors, the crowd, and the KURIMAWS!!! (those "people" clad in all-black with black eyeliners, black lipstick, black nail polish, etc...)

But it went great naman, ang saya sobra! =)

Got pics and signatures of some artists too, hahaha... =)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(wala na naman ako sa pic! i'm somewhere... nagtatabi ng tarps...)

SO PROUD of the Steering Comm!!! Ang galing magtrabaho... =) Nakaka-miss... It wasn't just professional relationship, we built friendships as well... HuWOW!!!

Adik na ko sa Kape!

2005-07-20T10:56:00.000+08:00

You Are a Frappacino

At your best, you are: fun loving, sweet, and modern

At your worst, you are: childish and over indulgent

You drink coffee when: you're craving something sweet

Your caffeine addiction level: low

~ oo nga!!! namumulubi na nga ako kaka-starbucks! mejo tone down muna ko ngayon, wala pa kasi exams... =)

Feels Great To Be Alive

2005-07-18T01:38:00.000+08:00

Wohooo!!! I'm back!!! =) After two months of total silence... I missed bloggin...

Been up to sooo much during the time i've hibernated... so many things have happened to me
~met alot of new people
~learned so much about life
~had a bunch of experiences i'll forever cherish

this summer has been one of the BEST! =) i did not get the chance to go home, since I had MUCH (and i really mean MUCH!!!) to do for the Freshman Orientation Program Committee, for KEM, for Inhinyero, a little for acads, and for myself, (which was, by the way, just like 10% of my total time...) ='( However, my stay here has been worth my while... Let me just summarize the things that happened (I did not get the chance to write them here)

*FOPC - marketing (meetings with company executives), plus making A LOT of phone calls and fax messages; sorting rummage (includes sleeping on them), selling them; Steering Com meetings (with a lot of cool and wonderful people, and great food, need i say?); workshops (packing survival kits and goodie bags); Freshman Welcome Assembly; Freshman Week - road painting, motorcade, CLOSER film screening, Rookie Camp mini fair (got to slide in the Titanic and played Paintball!), free isaw & fishballs and free ikot/toki rides for freshies, and lastly the Freshteeeg concert (great night! kapagod sobra pero masaya). KUDOS to the Steering Com!!! We did well, I believe... Even GREAT! =)

*KEM - genmeets, making invites and lots of announcements, meetings with the other org, loads of problems with the admin and the department, recognition hassles, etc... I missed KEM while I was busy with the FOPC... I just had to be there to make a good name for KEM... I'm just glad I'm now back to where I really belong... Love ko ang KEM, sobra!

*Inhinyero -test shots, choosing a studio for grad pic, boothings, text brigs, other errands... Sorry for being pasaway Joel... Thanks for being so understanding, and for appreciating all efforts I'm trying to make to do my job despite everything... Mahal na kita! =)

--- now, talk about biting more than I could chew! ---
The aforementioned are only 50% of everything I've been up to the past 2 months...
Yup, ang dami ko talagang kinuhang work... But in fairness to me, I've worked so hard para magampanan lahat... This has been my most effective weight loss program - 15LBS in 3 weeks!!! Now i'm working on gaining 'em all back... On the lighter side, I have learned SOOOO much!!! Such valuable lessons...

I don't really know if I still am making any sense... The point I'm actually trying to make is (ano nga ba?) Hahaha! Wala lang, na-miss ko nga lang mag-blog!!! Expect more frequent updates now (like once a month? hahaha!)

Welcome (me) back!!! =)

“FRIENDSHIP PAINS”?

2005-05-14T18:14:00.000+08:00

Bakit ganun?

Ang sakit… In fact, sobrang sakit…

Marahil nga palpak ako sa maraming bagay… But one thing I could take dignity in is my being a good friend. I have kept so many lasting friendships, and I guess that should somehow tell kung gaano ako magmahal ng kaibigan. Ang mga taong yun na nagmamahal sa akin would not stay this long kung hindi ako marunong mag-alaga ng friendship…

Pero bakit sa kanya iba? Wala na akong ginawang tama… Lahat ng ginawa ko mali… This used to be a joke… Pero ngayon ito na talaga ang nararamdaman ko… Actually dati pa, pero natitiis ko pa nun…

It pains to be unappreciated. Lalo na ng kaibigang mahal na mahal mo. Lalo na pag ginagawa mo na lahat, pero para sa kanya wala pa rin… At pag meron ka namang hindi nagawa, hinding hindi niya yun makakalimutan.

Bakit ganun?

Madalas rin akong masaktan (as in madalas), pero pinipilit kong umintindi. Masakit manahimik, pero ayokong ma-feel niya na may pagkukulang siya. Kahit sobrang nasasaktan ako, gusto ko pa rin masaya siya…

Bakit ganun?

Bakit yung mali lang yung nakikita at natatandaan niya?

Alam ko, masyado mataas ang standards niya sa mga bagay bagay… Kahit sa pagkakaibigan… And that’s settled: I was never good enough for him…

Weird lang… Kahit sobrang nagkakasakitan na kami, mahal na mahal ko pa rin siya… Nung naglalakad ako sa kahabaan ng Katipunan at dumudugo yung ilong ko at sobrang takot na takot ako, siya yung hinanap ko, Di ko nga naisip nanay ko nun e. Pero he didn’t even care. Pero OK lang sa akin. Nung birthday ko, siya lang yung binigyan ko ng THANK YOU note. Pero di man lang niya ko tinext nung araw na yun… Kahit gusto ko siya makasama nung special day kong yun, di rin nangyari kasi cold treatment ang binigay niya sa akin… 2am the day after my birthday humabol siya magtext, pero hindi para bumati, kundi para sabihin ang mga “kasalanan” ko sa kanya. Saya ng birthday ko noh?

Alam ko ngayon masyado ko (namin) siyang nasaktan… Pero sa totoo lang, hindi ko talaga maintindihan kung bakit ganun na lang ang reaction niya sa mga pangyayari… Sana i-consider niya na sobra sobra rin niya akong nasasaktan ngayon (hindi lang siya!!!) Oo, naiintindihan ko na may “friendship pains” daw siya for so long na. Sana, I was the only person responsible for his “friendship pains” for 7 years para matanggap ko kung bakit siya ganun. Pero hindi e (kelan lang ba kami naging magkaibigan?).

Nami-miss ko siya… For me para ko siyang best friend, kahit alam kong hindi ako ganun sa kanya. Kahit marami akong di masabi sa kanya. Kahit nasasaktan niya ako palagi (at malamang ganun din naman ako sa kanya).Pero ngayon mukhang malabo na ang lahat… Kasi nga, I was never good enough for him…

Tanong ko pa rin: BAKIT GANUN???

now i know what it feels to have "friendship pains"... dahil sa kanya...

{alam ko, never ka naging interesado sa blog ko. if ever lang naman mabasa mo to: SORRY… malamang isumpa mo na ako niyan… naiimagine ko na nga ang mukha mo, at naririnig ko na ang “ang kapal ng mukha niya!” lines mo… kasi convinced ka na ikaw lang ang nasasaktan, at ako ay condemned mo na for not being the kind of friend you want me to be… pero sobrang sakit ang itago lang lahat at umiyak lang ng umiyak… What if? Try mo i-consider na sa buong mundo hindi lang ikaw ang taong nasasaktan? Try mo i-consider na nakakasakit ka rin… Wala lang, try mo lang naman… At sana hindi masama ang magsulat sa sarili kong blog.}

Sa Baby Ko Naman...

2005-05-02T17:04:00.000+08:00

THANKS for always making me smile…
THANKS for always making me laugh…
THANKS for absorbing all my disappointments, depressions, and all my negative vibes…
THANKS for laughing at my jokes...
THANKS for just listening to everything I have to say…
THANKS for always making sundo…
THANKS for making bitbit everything I need to bring…
THANKS for always keeping me company everywhere I go…
THANKS for always offering help in everything I do…
THANKS for switching to SMART so I won't have to spend much keeping in touch...
THANKS for staying up with me till dawn whenever I need to finish things…
THANKS for staying up with me 48+ hrs straight to review for exams…
THANKS for waking up so early everyday just so you could wake me up so I won't be late for class...
THANKS for always protecting me… I appreciate the hassles you go through maging sa pagtawid, just to keep me safe (kala mo siguro di ko napapansin yun)…
THANKS for protecting me from falling for him again, haha…

THANKS for making even my most insignificant details significant...
THANKS for always making me feel special and loved...
THANKS for all your sacrifices (sobrang dami nun!)

THANKS for being my brother, and my best friend…

For everything you’re doing for me, I DO APPRECIATE ALL THAT… Every little thing you do, every little thing you say, and every little gesture you make eases away my pains and my weariness. You are such as blessing…

Baby, I’m so thankful I found you… (,”(“,)

{bawal ma-in-love!} HAHAH...

Random Introspection

2005-05-02T16:58:00.000+08:00

*masaya ako nagagamit ko na ulit laptop ko! Ewan ko, bigla na lang siya nag-work ulit, heheh… =)

* naiinis ako sa sooobrang init ng panahon... sumasakit ulo ko sa init...

* napapagod na ako sa mga ginagawa ko.
* wala na akong oras para sa sarili ko. (poor me!)
* nakakapamulubi maging EC, promise!
* sobrang wala akong panahon for gimik, and for lovelife

~ pero OK lang kasi pinili ko to, at paninindigan ko to.

* nami-miss ko na pamilya ko.
* gusto ko na umuwi.
* nalulungkot ako kasi malapit na kaarawan ko. Mukhang hindi yata happy ang birthday ko. ='(

* sobrang proud ako sa brother bear ko, graduate na siya! =)
* proud din ako kay marky marc for topping 2nd sa board exam! =)Galing! Siyempre, proud ako sa lahat ng KEMers! CONGRATS Ate Sheila, Ate Aimie, et al… =)

* mahal ko si Ewik:
… kahit madalas kami di magkasundo
… kahit di kami magkaintidihan at times
… kahit sooobrang sungit (at tactless) niya
BASTA, mahal ko siya!

~ G O O D B Y E ~

2005-05-02T16:53:00.000+08:00

These are my farewell flowers...

It has just sunk in... He's gone... Again...

For the nth time, I let go of him...

No matter how often I hurt him, He used to keep coming back... Now I am uncertain if that would still be the case... I have broken his heart so many times in the past... He did not deserve that... The man who has loved me more than any other man can do did NOT deserve that...

I hated how unaffected I was last night as I saw him fight back tears as he gave me this beautiful bouquet of flowers. I despise my apathy as he walked to his car, and as he went back to touch my cheek with his freezing cold palm as he struggled to say "Goodbye". He left, with not a word from me... That must have been so painful on his part. But last night I felt nothing... How spiteful of me...

And now, after getting a good sleep... I stare at these flowers... I read his card and the long poem he wrote... I listen to the CD he gave me last night... Tears involuntarily fall... Damn, I miss him... Worse, guilt engulfs me...

He DID love me... SO MUCH, as a matter of fact (for 7 long years!!!) And he still does... He says so... And I know it...

But then making him wait would be so selfish of me. I could not give him my time at this moment, and I don't want to go on hurting him because of that. I want him to be happy with someone who loves him more than I do...

Thanks, KIRT - for EVERYTHING! Be happy... and I will be happier knowing that...

Ang Bago Kong Pamilya

2005-03-25T20:05:00.000+08:00

{hehehe, sana lang kita nyo mga mukha}

Ito ang bago kong pamilya...

Bound together by the passion to serve the organization we love... Bound together by the trust our orgmates have given us...

Nakaka-excite... These are the people na makakasama ko for a year. A year of who knows what? Malamang taon na puno ng challenges at problema. A year of uncertainty... However, isang bagay ang nasisiguro ko, it will definitely be a year of learning valuable lessons para sa bawat isa sa amin.

Whatever lies ahead, alam ko kakayanin namin. Basta magkakasama. =)

GO EC 05-06!!! =)

QUIZ kung QUIZ...

2005-03-25T19:42:00.000+08:00

Sowee po, puro quizzes lang laman nitong blog ko... Hehehe, la kasi magawa e... Saka natuwa ako masyado kaka-take ng mga quizzes na to... =)

Hopeless Romantic daw ako?

2005-03-25T19:31:00.000+08:00

You are a hopeless romantic person. You think of
love as an innocent light. You are a happy
person and you are also opptimistic. You like
the bright things in life. Many people like
you for your 'breath of fresh air attitude'.

Who are you inside????? (LOTS OF RESULTS)girls only
brought to you by Quizilla

Hahah! Ako nga!!! Check out the color (pink na pink), and the hair!

2005-03-25T19:22:00.000+08:00

You are a Chinese/Asian Dancer. You are the
smartest in the party, you have a beautiful
creative mind and you like to use it to help
your loved ones, you care a lot about your
friends and you try always to protect them and
give them advice. Your ideal man is the one
with a strong determined character, you like to
feel safe with him.

What kind of dancers are you? (Girls only)
brought to you by Quizilla

In fairness, mej totoo =)

2005-03-25T19:09:00.000+08:00

~*~Innocent/Childlike~*~
You are beautiful because of the pure, sensitive,
good hearted, unexperienced vibe you give out.
You most likely haven't done much such as sex,
drugs , and alcohol. If you have you were
probably just experimenting out of pure
curiousity. Your curiousness may lead to danger
if you cannot control it! People like to be
around you because of your young personality.
You like to have fun and be happy. You are well
liked by most people but some may find you
slightly immature. Don't let people bring you
down, for you are a wonderful and beautiful
person!

You're Beautiful...but why? ( PICS)
brought to you by Quizilla

Ako:

2005-03-25T19:06:00.000+08:00

-Sensitive- You're Sensitive, and you'd like to
stay that way. Sorry,listened to a bit too much
Jewel there. You're sweet and very emotionally
charged. You definitely love the person you're
with, and always want to know how they're
feeling so you can make sure they're happy.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Close...

2005-03-25T19:01:00.000+08:00

cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

BAD HAIR Month

2005-03-24T09:49:00.000+08:00

I know spending to beautify one's self is very much common, and may even be necessary... But have you ever heard of the opposite? Ang gumastos para papangitin ang sarili?

Stupid noh? But hey, nagawa ko siya!!! Went to BENCH Fix to have my hair trimmed, as in simpleng trim lang... The result? Anime na super ikli para sa akin... For ages, laging mahaba ang hair ko, then now ganito? Huhuhu... ='(

Oh well, anjan na eh... La na ko magagawa... I'll just have to deal with this bad hair, not just for a day, but for a month or so...

BENCH Fix, Ibagsak! Ibagsak!

Hmmm, close enough, I guess...

2005-03-08T23:45:00.000+08:00

Your Heart is Red

What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla

So Blessed...

2005-03-08T23:00:00.000+08:00

Hindi pa nag-sink in sa akin... EXEC SEC na pala ako, induction na lang... Whew! Kanina nung nag-dinner ako with friends, I was thinking kung anong committees and papasukan ko next sem... Nawala sa loob ko na ang Exec Sec pala ay walang committees na kinabibilangan... Nawala sa loob ko na hindi na ako ordinaryong member a few days from now... Basta hindi ko pa maipasok sa sistema ko na magbabago na pala ang buhay ko...

Masaya ako sobra sa pagkakataong ibinigay ng KEMers sa akin... Oo, nalungkot ako sa anim na mas pinili si abstain (natural lang naman siguro malungkot, diba?) pero sabi nga nila, that was a very good number... Nevertheless, hindi na naman mag-ma-matter yun... Ang iniisip ko nalang, paano ko magagawa ang mga trabaho ko ng maayos para mabigyang hustisya ang tiwala ng mga tao... Pagkalabas ng results, tinanong ko na agad si Brother Bear ko (as incumbent Exec Sec) kung ano ang magagawa ko as early as now for recognition ng KEM sa university at engg admin... Hehehe, di naman masyado excited noh?

Basta, super inspired ako at this very moment dahil sa tiwala at suporta ~ di lang ng KEMers, kundi pati ng alumni (overwhelming talaga!).

Basta yun, masaya talaga ako...

THANKS!!!

2005-03-08T22:48:00.000+08:00

Sa lahat po ng nagtiwala, MARAMI PONG SALAMAT!!! I am soooooo overwhelmed with your trust and support!!! Rest assured, hindi ko po hahayaang masayang ang tiwalang ibinigay niyo...

THANK YOU VERY MUCH po!!!

~yacel, UP KEM exec sec 05-06

VOTE NYO NAMAN PO AKO!!! =)

2005-03-05T02:04:00.000+08:00

Yacel, your Exec Sec!

Totoo Kaya To? (Tingin Mo?)

2005-02-16T21:18:00.000+08:00

IN MY EYES DAW:

In your eyes, people see kindness... You're just
so... so... so... Sweet! You're kind and love
to give others in need, a helping hand. You're
pretty shy but can be warm and friendly towards
those you know, and those who know you best.
Your sanctuary would just be any place that is
warm, cozy, and inviting to all people. You
love to show signs of affection to your lover
but a small simple talk does the trick as well
;) Sadly, your kindness can be used to your
disadvantage. People can use you, and take
advantage over your sweet and sensitive
mind.... But fear not! With you being so kind
and generous, people look up to you and adore
you ^-^ No one would dare hurt you because they
can't bear the thought of your sweet smile
turning into a frown :)

Ladies of 222

2005-02-05T13:46:00.000+08:00

{Write-up written by my roomie JADE:}

A group of rare individuals meet in a groundbreaking, world shattering way in a dynamic haven called 222 (2 much fun, 2 much love, 2 much life). “The Divine Secrets of Ya-ya Sisterhood” is a chronicle of the joy brought about by true friendship… not born of the same parents, but born of the same sensibilities, emotions, desires, dreams – raised in different places with different beliefs, yet so much alike in thought…

Mother (Sheena, best actress in My Little Bride) – 222 is a home away from home because of the presence of a motherly figure like “mother”. She is a blessing if not a curse (ϋ) for her unwavering care for the welfare of the sisterhood and her leadership and decisiveness always saves the group from the cruelties of reality. Hail mother Bouen!

Auntie (Jade, best actress in Meteor Garden) – a Ya-ya extraordinaire, crazy girl in a good sense of the word for her passion keeps the room on fire.

Ats (Kim, multi-awarded model of Ponds, “so iho piensa kesi”) – a pretty butterfly in a wild forest. She traveled the coasts of Malaysia and Singapore and even toured Europe in her dreams. China is next. Who can defy the fluttering of her wings?! No one! Not even Cholo…

Bonj (Yacel, a campus idol) – a silly girl with substance. Her contagious laughter is as shallow as the “bara in the lababo” yet her tears can be triggered even in the most mundane situations. Her compassion is as immense as the UP campus and her beauty as refreshing as a sunrise. Talented. Gifted. A gift.

Ours is a friendship like no others. Extremely happy and never boring yet real enough to not always be likable.

HOOKED!

2005-02-05T13:28:00.000+08:00

This is just sooooo weird! Natapos nalang ang craze sa mga Asian telenovelas such as Meteor Garden 1 and Meteor Garden 2, and Endless Love Seasons, but I never got interested in any of them, and I mean never! I was even pissed off then, because everyone around me had nothing else to talk about except the previous night's episode of these shows.

But I got along just fine, kahit super addict na ang mga tao sa Meteor Garden, kebs ko pa rin!

And even the previously concluded "Lovers in Paris" - i never got a glimpse of even just one night of it!

Malakas kasi ang tolerance ko sa mga ganyan, hindi ako madaling ma-addict... SO I THOUGHT!

Then, came this new Koreanovela.....

Every 10pm, tumitigil ang mundo ng room 222 dito sa Ilang. It's so funny to see 4 ladies gathered around this really tiny black-and-white television (which is strictly prohibited, by the way, by dormitory rules)...

And bed check comes around past 10pm as well. Every night we have this element of danger of being caught by the Resident Assistant. And every night we come so close to that!!! But still we take the risk just to witness every moment of Cholo and Jodi's life and love. Cheesy, though!

I never imagined myself being hooked to this. But there's one thing I'm thankful for. Huddling together around this little TV gives me the chance to share laughter and friendship with my roommies. It took me a long time to finally break the ice that has long been freezing between us. I'm happy with this. I just wish we don't really get caught, or i'm dead meat!!!

And by watching this, I have began to appreciate "unconditional" love... Who knows? I might stop being impervious to the person who has long given me this (try 6 years?), and reciprocate the love he so deserves... ;)

Balut, Chicharon, at Libreng Tula

2005-02-02T01:27:00.000+08:00

It was almost 10 pm and Sunken garden was enveloped with cold, as well as couples doing their naughty stuff, whatever that is... While pH, Gaery, Erik, and I were engrossed with our "sight-seeing", a little boy, barely 7 of age came near, offerring his heavy, bigger-than-him basket of merchandise. He said to me "Ate, bili po kayo ng chicharon, may libreng tula".

Being a softhearted damsel, with equally softhearted company, we bought chicharon, although we really had no intentions of eating such. The little boy then called his smaller sister, barely 5 of age to offer us her free poem. She then recited this loooooooong poem about "Mamang Pulis". The little girl did well, for her age. We were so amazed at how these little kids strategized to earn a living. So we did a little interview. It was so disheartening to know that at that wee hour, they haven't eaten yet since they used their profit for their food. In the first place, little kids aren't supposed to stay out late at night, much more work for their own living! We gave them much more than we had to pay for the chicharon so they could have dinner.

The kids were so thankful. It was so rewarding to see the genuine joy in their eyes. Nothing compares to witnessing their smiles.

Now I still think about them. I told Erik I was wondering if the kids have already eaten by now? He said I need not worry, God will take care of them. Sigh, if only I was so opulent, I'd take all of them under my care...

Happy Anniversary

2005-01-31T23:59:00.000+08:00

As I half-opened my eyes and flipped the pages of my Daily Bread, I was astonished with the date written on the heading for the day's Scripture. January 31. Now, that was what I needed to finally jolt my slumbering senses. Ironic though, for months I have been trying to obliterate the memories of that rueful day. Yet having seen that, first thing in the morning, brought me discomfiting emotions i could hardly make out.

After reading the passage for the day, I prayed... earnestly... I asked Him to help me get through the day as normally as I could. I beseeched Him to depose away from my mind's periphery thoughts and feelings commensurated with last year's event...

I went to my classes... Made tambay at KEM... Talked with friends... Took exam in onse...

As I was about to go home, I was glad He heard my plea. My day went just fine.

Before I went back to the dorm, my friends and I decided to drop by the Sunken Garden for a little chit chat. My Anniversary of Singleness was worth celebrating.

I had fun with three of my best buddies - pH, Gaery, & Ewik (just sad Lou couldn't be around). We sat on the grass, under the glistening array of stars, right in the middle of Sunken. Talked about a lot of things - sensible and flimsy alike. Shared laughters, tears, angst, dreams. It just felt so cathartic.

I went home happy.

As i lay in bed at around 2 am, I just found it so hard to put myself to sleep. Unconsciously, tears just mustered in my eyes and voluntarily flowed down my cheeks. I don't really know what they were for, the feeling was just so weird. There was a little twinge at an unidentifiable part in my heart. It went on till daybreak, I just felt too tired I barely knew when it ended.

As i woke up the following day, as if nothing happened. Great. Now, that's "normal".

Tong Kantang To

2005-01-15T10:18:00.000+08:00

Scene: Yacel uncomfortably seated in IKOT jeep...

... Kitchie Nadal (did I spell it right?) filled the air waves with her walang kamatayang awit na ito...

wohowooowow, 'wag na 'wag mong sasabihin
na di mo nadama itong
pag-ibig kong handang
ibigay kahit pa ang kalayaan mo

Yacel (to herself): Not again! It's just mid-day and this is the fifth time I've heard this song! Na-memorize ko na tuloy...

Lady (to her companion): Ayan na! Pinatugtog na naman ang Pambansang Awit ng Pilipinas!

Yacel (to herself again): Hehehe, iba talaga mag-isip ang taga-Peyups!

The Year That Was...

2005-01-13T11:40:00.000+08:00

Too late for a year-end report though, I just want to pour out everything that's running in my head at this very moment...

In my entire existence of nineteen years, I guess the previous one was my worst! Well, of course I could never tell of how times were when I was still an infant. But as far as I could remember, as I reached my age of consciousness, I never had a hard time dealing with life the way I did last year.

It was a year when things, and people, so dear to me were taken away from me. It was a year filled with heartaches and tears. It was a year I could call no better than "The Dark Age".

Just as 2004 began, I lost love. My life's an open book, this ain't classified info for anybody. It actually happened months before that, I was just too dim-witted to realize. The following months became my difficult battle of having to accept things the way they are, and deciding to trudge another path far from what I have been used to. It took me a long time (and I really mean loooooong) to gather myself up and nurse the bleeding wounds.

Midyear, I lost my scholarship. I failed to take the final exams since I was ill. With this, I lost confidence in myself as well as the drive to go for the real reason why I am here in the University.

August came, my uncle passed away. He finally gave up his struggle against cancer. It was excruciating to lose the person I considered my dad. It took me a long while to be thankful that he was finally at rest.

Just a month after that, when my family was still in bereavement for my uncle's loss, we had to face another dilemma. My mom had to undergo a major operation - total hysterectomy. I had this great fear of losing my mom, since the people I loved were leaving me one by one... What pained me the most was the fact that I, her only child, could not be with her in this strife. I wasn't there to hug her and assure her that everything's gonna be alright. I wasn't there to take care of her.

Just when hope seemed aloof, God heard my prayers this time. My mom had a successful operation.

But my troubles just don't end there.

Before the year ended, my Dad (grandpa) had stroke and was under comatose for a week. Even his physicians thought there was a faint chance of his survival and convinced the family to accept his loss, which was likely to happen at that time. Again, in this trial, I was away from the family. I was crying alone and worrying with no one beside me. But God is still gracious. After that week of totally no response from my lolo, he woke up although he was paralyzed. He underwent therapy, and is now trying to live a normal life.

Yes indeed, this year is not worth remembering.

But on second thought, if not for all these crises, I would never have grown and matured. I would not realize how life really works ~ that it is not just made up of "ups", but "downs" as well, and that I just can't have everything. If not for all these pains I've been through, I would never appreciate the strength I never thought I possessed.

More importantly, these events in my life became my avenue of proving to myself of how blessed I am to have a wonderful family. My eyes have been opened as well to appreciate the people and friends who geniunely cared for me.

Yes, it was a year jam-packed with nightmares. But these nightmares brought me realistic lessons about life, as well as the zeal to keep on dreaming, believing, and loving...

The Awakening

2005-01-12T17:08:00.000+08:00

Good morning!!! *yawn*

It's unbelievable how it took me this long to finally awaken from slumber... Can you imagine that? I've been away from the Blogging Biz for exactly a month now!

Within that month, so many things happened in my life ~ so many things I could talk about. I don't even know where to start.

I didn't even get to post updates on my euphoric eng'g week experience, my merry christmas and happy new year celebrations. I have been so immersed with the life I missed so bad that I never had the will to write again...

Now, it seems like everything's back to normal... Being normal includes blogging again... It's good to be back! =)

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2004-12-12T23:07:00.000+08:00

Tulog po muna blog ko ha?

Sensya na po sa mga dumadalaw, wala kayong nakikitang bago. I'm so sick with this Eng'g Week fever!

Sa Pasko na siguro ako makakapag-update...

K-E-M Go! Fight!

Miss Eng'g Thingie

2004-12-01T23:15:00.000+08:00

hay, di pa nagsisimula ang eng'g week, super haggard na kami in preparation for ms eng'g. to think, last event ito, pero super aga ng preparations. career kung career!

marami na rin kaming napagdaanan the past week. accomplishing forms, male pictorials, house building, etc... but so far, yung pinaka-haggard ay yung lakad namin kanina w/ rob & pol. whew! super challenged talaga ang aming lakas at pasensya.

buong araw, puro ms. eng'g inatupag namin. at the end of the day, we went to melan's place for rob's training and other preparations. good thing magkakasama sila sa bahay nina ate georgie and nonoy. super laking tulong nila, as in! buti nalang may mga fashionista kaming alumni, di na kailangan maghanap ng damit, accessories, make-up, etc... di na rin kailangan mag-hire ng professional trainors kasi ang gagaling nila! =)

yun, after being so haggard, biglang naalis lahat ng pagod ko. ang galing! after the crash course and makeover, super laki ng pinagbago ni rob! i realized how much potential for winning he had! nakakawala ng pagod makitang lahat ay nag-e-exert ng effort. kahit papano, enjoy rin naman ang kakikayang ginagawa namin, heheh... but just seeing how beautiful rob was a while ago, i had surge of energy and excitement. matakot na ang ibang ms eng'g, hahahah!!!

Sad Situation

2004-12-01T22:43:00.000+08:00

nung naglalakad kami sa divisoria, iba't ibang mukha ng kahirapan ang bumulaga sa akin. my gosh, ang lalim! but then, totoo, nakakalungkot talaga...

although super crowded and super dumi and super baho, so many people still choose to stay there. kasi naman, they no longer have the luxury para mamili pa where else to live and work. i was wondering kung kumikita pa sila ng money doon. for instance, yung vendors na magkakatabi na lang, may bumibili pa kaya sa kanila? yung drivers ng kalesa, may sumasakay pa ba dun? (di lang yung drivers yung nakakaawa, pati yung horses!)

plus, nagkaroon pa ng raid! super naawa talaga ako sangkatutak na mga vendors na nagmamadaling tumakbo papalayo bitbit ang mga paninda nila.

basta, lahat ng makita ko sa paligid nakaka-depress! i admire those people na nakakaya nilang mabuhay ng ganun... i felt guilty for my occasional pag-iinarte, sama talaga! from then on, di na nawala sa akin yung sad feeling na yun. having witnessed all those made me feel so bad. hay, sana umunlad na ang Pilipinas!

DIVI & Cubao Escapade

2004-12-01T22:18:00.000+08:00

early this morning i had to go to divisoria to scout for materials needed for miss eng'g. i went with maja & elpee. super bangag pa, but go na kami agad!

first time kong sumakay nung LRT 2. wow, super enjoy ako! heheh... sabi pa nga nila, para daw akong maliit na batang tino-tour... =) amazing lang kasi yung train eh, saka yung stations. basta nakakatuwa lang! =)heheh...

we were supposed to meet rob and pol sa divisoria. but then we had to wait for sometime bago sila dumating. kainis si pol, pinag-tripan ba naman kami ng hold-up! kung may sakit kami sa puso, siguro inatake na kami dun sa gulat at kaba.

so there, hinanap namin yung area kung saan makakabili ng materials for rob's costume & props, then nauna na sa amin sina maja & elpee. my goodness, ang layo ng nilakad namin! at super dumi pa nung road kasi kakaulan lang. super gulo rin doon, dami people at pangit talaga yung amoy. we just had to deal with it.

wala rin naman kami napala doon, waste of time lang. so we decided to go to cubao next to buy heels for rob. but no! nawala na yung area kung saan maraming stores ng shoes. grabe, super haggard talaga kaming tatlo nina rob & pol kakaikot & kakahanap. pati ukay ukay pinatulan na namin, with pol's idea of finding "classy shoes" sa UK. hahah! we were surprised at what we saw! chaka ever nung mga shoes doon. super hopeless na talaga, so we decided to go back to UP. 7 hours kakaikot, wala kaming napala! waaaah, kainis talaga! such a waste of time and money.

when we got back to UP, we watched cheering practice kasi we were waiting for our 6:30pm appointment with Melan. after 3 hours there, we went to melan's place na to give rob a crash course on the essentials of being ms engg.

i was supposed to devote my entire day for studying (for once!), but then wala ako ni isang na-accomplish!

Useless Sentiments

2004-12-01T01:45:00.000+08:00

wala lang, effect pa rin to of not being able to sleep...

super appreciated ng indakers ang criticisms na natatanggap from others, WE HUMBLY ACCEPT them kasi kailangan naman talaga namin yun.

but please, sana lang maayos ang approach. siguro, some people need reminding na we are NOT just mere dancers of the org. may sariling buhay, at may pakiramdam din.

i have no doubts about my love and commitment for indakan! once and for all, i have proven myself and others of how much i am willing to risk and sacrifice just for this. coupled with my love for KEM, i swear i could give everything!

ang pangit lang kasi pakiramdam ng masaya ang grupong nagtatrabaho at nagtutulungan, then biglang may darating na hihigop ng lahat ng good energy sa paligid. i'm not the only one who feels this way, maging si ph din (and dati si shing nung previous dances namin). na-imagine ko na how the students from hogwarts felt nung na-encounter nila yung dementors, it sucks to have all your happy thoughts siphoned from you.

ah ewan! naisip ko lang, kahit yung great mentors namin (such as ate vicky, ate aimie, kuya earl, binoe, etc...) hindi ganun maka-trato sa amin. mas effective ang learning process pag mas light and encouraging ang approach. i don't expect them to be super bait naman, pero ewan ko, pangit lang talaga yung dating. (gulo noh?) basta, nakakawala ng drive.

after our audience's (or critics') "walk out", super bumaba ang morale namin. kailangan ba talaga ganun? but then we managed to work harder... ang nakakatuwa lang, ay masaya ulit kami. for me, yun ang mahalaga. of course we aim for perfection, but then plus factor pa rin pag magaan ang pakiramdam namin sa isa't isa... ika nga, ginagawa naming inspirasyon ang bawat isa.

i know bawat isa sa amin ay may pagkakamali. sigurado yun. pero thankful ako na kami kami sa grupo ay willing magtulungan para ma-improve ang lahat. kahit hirap na hirap na kami, masaya pa rin kami... i guess that matters a lot!

waaaah, sorry sorry sorry! wala na talagang sense to. but just let me. yey, inaantok na rin ako, at last!

Missin My GUYZ

2004-12-01T01:16:00.000+08:00

miss ko na wushu clan ko!

this is soooo weird. we see each other everyday, but then i still miss being with them! now that we're all very busy preparing for engg week, a wave & "hi" would be enough for a day... sad... pewo ganun talaga...

after all these is over, i just wish i still have them to come back to... Lou's right, kahit super pagod na pagod na ko, just the thought of them somehow eases the burden... =)

Bad Day

2004-12-01T00:41:00.000+08:00

wala ako sa mood magsulat... kailangan ko lang ng outlet... at one point or another, there comes a time when nothing seems to be right. just like the day i had.

* dahil sa lakas ng ulan at malamig na panahon, napasobra ako ng tulog. woke up at around 7 am. but then, my body hurt entirely, i just felt too weak to get up and take a bath. at ano nah? alas syete ang una kong class... kaya yun, there goes my first absence for the sem. darn! pero kere lang, art stud 2 lang naman yun. at malamang sa malamang, di na naman pumasok prof ko, as usual.

** next class was at 10am - geol 11. i was too early for that class, but i hesitated to leave the dorm kasi super namamaga yung dalawang eyelids ko, ang pangit! but i had no choice, kebs na, kaya pumasok ako. tapos, the prof gave a surprise quiz, wala ako nasagot masyado (konti lang!). malay ko ba sa mga rocks at minerals na yun.

*** had no lunch break kaya nagutom ako. may physics lab pa kasi. we performed an experiment on linear expansion. mejo nabawasan na pagkainis ko sa araw ko kasi i was havin a good time with the experiment and the chit chat with my groupmates, we talked about engg week! tapos super palpak yung equipment namin, low tech kasi. kaya yun super bagal mag-boil nung steam bath, basta dami kapalpakan ng mga gamit. di namin natapos yung expt. kaya nawalan kami ng chance to get plus 10 points. daya ni sir! grrrr! di naman namin kasalanan kung sira sira mga thermometer nila.

**** no food intake and all, i rushed to my next calss sa engg (ChE 132). di kami nag-class. i don't know if i should be happy. exam na kasi next meeting at wala pa ako naiintindihan masyado.

***** i ate lasagna lang (the only "loaded" food i ate for the day! - breakfast, lunch, and dinner - all in one!)

****** i played trumps with my orgmates. i rily have no "thing" with cards, kaya natalo ako. di talaga ako marunong ng kahit anong card games.

******* i was so bored, nakatulog ako sa tambayan. my body ached and lying at the bench was so uncomfy, but still nakatulog pa rin ako.

******** ginising ako ni Pol, indakan rehearsal na pala. nagulat ako super dilim na pala!

********* rehearsed at DMST. when we had stretching, i was so happy that the pain in my thigh kinda disappeared. when we had our first run, bumalik lahat ng sakit, kaya na-limit na naman ako gumalaw.

********** sabog yung first run namin (first run pa lang po kasi). plus, personally, i had this "pilay", but i did try my best, though it really hurt. our orgmates who watched were disappointed. sabi pang-high school daw yung sayaw. we really needed criticisms, and we appreciated it! =) then, they left us... (???)

*********** we were left utterly speechless. hurt. disappointed. after a series of pep talks within the group, we got ourselves working and polishing. in fairness, madami naman kaming na-achieve, overtime pa nga kami eh.

************ i was still absorbed with having a terrible day. again, i felt dissatisfied with not being able to do my best because of the pain that restrained me to move well. i hated that feeling. i opted to go home all alone, despite the darkness of the road and having no one to send me home. i preferred it that way, because i was in no mood to be with somebody else. i was already too grumpy. lapit na rin curfew nun e. after walking a block by myself, somebody came running after me - si ph!!! of all, it was him i least expected to go after me and send me home. i wasn't feeling pa-importante and pa-kunsensya by going home alone, it's just that i wanted to be alone. but then, i really really appreciated what he did. he really was a friend.

************* wala akong napa-reserve na dinner dito sa dorm, kaya di na naman nakakakain.

************** ngayon naman, gusto ko matulog, but i'm not sleepy.

SOBRANG BAD DAY talaga!!!

Can't Sleep

2004-11-30T23:57:00.000+08:00

Kainis... pardon me kung walang sense tong ginagawa ko. bad trip lang, i want to doze off ASAP,yet ayaw ako dalawin ng antok... kaya eto, gumagawa ng walang kwentang entry.

bakit ganun? kung kelan kailangan ko mag-aral, antok na antok ako. kung kelan naman gusto ko magpahinga agad, di ako makatulog.

argh!

CryBaby

2004-11-29T19:50:00.000+08:00

- i hate being one...

this morning when we rehearsed for Indakan, me left thigh terribly hurt! i might have been doing something wrong during our previous practices for it to hurt that bad. plus i have this habit of pushing myself to the limit just to get something right. so there i was forcing myself to move and tried to ignore the pain. but that just didn't work, it only made the situation worse, up to the point that i could barely move because the pain was killing me.

the rest were already doing their thing, polishing their moves... while on the floor i was, just sitting and watching them. i hated the feeling, i wanted to clean my routine as well! i stood up and tried again, but the more i hurt myself. i felt so helpless, i cried! partly because i was ashamed avel might find out i was in pain. part of it as well was fear that he might scold me for not dancing at performance level, i just can't! but the real reason was the disappointment i felt that i wasn't able to do my best - not even close to doing good. sigh. i know i shouldn't blame myself. but i just was so dissatisfied with myself. but i just wish i ain't that prone to tears. no matter how i hold them back, they just voluntarily fall.

...pArAnOiD...

2004-11-27T23:21:00.000+08:00

darn! never in my life have i dreaded hearing my fone ring and seeing any of my family member's name appearing onscreen as the caller. grabe, it's just soooo weird! usually naman super excited ako everytime they call me. but now, it's really different, and strange!

it occurred to me thrice these past few days. i always have second thoughts if i really want to pick up and hear what they want to say. i understand why. i am just so scared that i always preempt what they intend to tell me. paranoid - that's what i am right now... knowing the situation at home, and being so scared to hear anything bad that may possibly happen.

a while ago it happened again. i was with shally, ph, and eszard at the lagoon late this afternoon (hmm? y kami nandun? secret na noh! hahah!) then britney's 'toxic' was summoning my attention from deep in by backpack. i hurriedly scrambled for my phone to answer the call. seeing that my mom was on the line suddenly made my heart throb so wildly. again, i thought of not picking up. but then again, i just had to.

when i heard her voice i immediately asked her purpose of calling (which is so not me, there was no lambing factor whatsoever). and it was so evident in her voice that there really was something unusual. so, there i go, uncontrollably going over the possibilities in my head (i.e. something might have happened to my lolo). i hated her pa-bitin style, the more i grew tense, and scared. kaya yun, super iyak na agad ako.i just couldn't contain my nervousness and i repeatedly asked how dad was. it was super nakakahiya sa mga friends ko! para akong anime character na ngumangawa (yung walang tigil ang pagdaloy ng luha, with matching hagulgol... but syempre may compusure pa rin!)

so there, i just wasn't able to hold back my emotions. then suddenly, i heard on the other line the voice of my baby cousin who was supposedly at jeddah, saudi... he was asking how i was? i was so surprised! i couldn't believe hearing my aunt and cousin, nasa bahay pala sila! then it became clear to me. mom called to surprise me that they have already arrived.

super urgent naman!!! just about 2 days ago, mama told me they MIGHT come home. never did i expect their arrival was gonna be this soon! i am glad their here, honestly. but still it could never cover up my fears and worries. they would never have come home if dad wasn't in a critical condition. sigh...

then, i did my stupid mistake again... my tita brought the phone to dad's ear so i could tell him i'm here, and how much i want him to get well. then again, i just sobbed. no matter how i tried to encourage him, i just couldn't bear the pain of hearing nothing but faint groans... that wasn't the lolo i left weeks ago. and i couldn't imagine how i could fake being strong seeing him 2 weeks from now. but that is the fact - he is already severely paralyzed. but then, i would never cease to believe in miracles... i know He watches.

Avel, the Great!!!

2004-11-27T23:01:00.000+08:00

After being so immersed in my depression re: my grandpa's condition, at last something has taken my mind off the problem for a while.

We already had our first choreo day for eng'g week's indakan (at long last!). Having worked with Master Avel last year already gave me the idea of how superb his talents really are. He has been the key (this we must admit) to KEM's grandslam victory (and more) in indakan.

When we started working on this year's repertoire, I was just so amazed at realizing that he really is a genius!!! He's just unbelievably magical! Ang galing niya mag-isip!!! Super asteeeg nung opening act namin. (whew, I just wish the group could give justice to his ultimately fabulous ideas!) Basta, almost everything he comes up with never fails to amaze us. Galing, sobra!

Kaya sa iba diyan, be afraid... Be very afraid! Hahaha... (actually malakas lang ang loob ko kasi puro KEMers naman yung may alam nitong blog ko, heheheh...) But honestly, the idea is undoubtedly winnable... But everything would depend on how we would bring life to his work. I just wish we would not fail him this time. And I just wish we would not fail the org, the people who believe and support us, and ourselves as well.

Super Super Depressed!

2004-11-24T22:02:00.000+08:00

Sigh, I've had much of a depressing day! At about noon, when I was getting ready to go to SM North with Fra and my Brother Bear, my mom suddenly called. She told me that daddy (my lolo, that is), already woke up. I was thinking, why in the world did she have to inform me that he was already awake? I mean, what was the big deal?

- - - About 4 days ago, when we were having the Indakan auditions, my tita from parañaque accidentally called me (she was supposed to call my mom). She asked how dad was. I told her I think he's quite ok and I didn't really know because I was here at QC. Surprisingly, she asked me if I didn't know that dad was rushed to the hospital due to stroke! I panicked and immediately called home to confirm the bad news! However, my mom told me that he was ok, maybe my tita was just misinformed. I believed Mama and forgot the issue... - - -

So when I got Mama's call a while ago, the painful truth sank in... It was true that dad suffered stroke, and apparently, my family lied by assuring me he was perfectly fine, when he wasn't! My mom had no way out, so she had to admit the whole truth. And it cut me deeply. Daddy just woke up this noon, after FIVE DAYS from confinement! That was terrible! She said I should talk to him to encourage him to fight and get well, because it was only when my little cousins arrived and talked him to waking up that he actually did. So she held the fone to dad so we could talk. Groans - were the only thing I heard from him, not a clear word. No matter how I fought back tears, they just flowed so rapidly. That was then that I realized that his speech was already impaired. He was also paralyzed. Instead of giving him a word of encouragement, I just sobbed! Stupid me! Mama said I shouldn't have done that, the more my grandfather would feel weak, knowing how sad I was. But I was so helpless. Mama told me to talk to him again, but I just didn't have the strength. I knew I wouldn't say a word again, so I refused.

Sobrang hurt ako. Why did my family have to keep such big crucial matter from me? Thanks to Buddy Bars and Brother Bear for making me understand that my family was just protecting me from hurt and worry, especially that I was far from them. They knew how much I loved dad, and how close we were.

I feel so helpless, I could no nothing but pray. Oh God! I could not afford losing another loved one. It's barely 3 months since my only uncle left us, and the pain still lingers. It was just last month when my mom has undergone a major operation - and it was really torture for me. Thank God, she survived and recovered fast. Now please, not my Lolo...

I have just bought my Christmas present for him last week, and I'm excited to give it to him when I get home. Now I just wish we could spend Christmas happily, with the entire family. I don't know what I'm gonna do if something unacceptably bad happens to any of my family.

I feel soooooo down. I missed the company of my beloved friends, I just wanted to be beside them to share my pains with, now that I'm far from my family. We did see each other, but were all busy with our respective lives. Sigh... At least I know there's always someone who is beside me no matter what. Oh God, please take care of Dad... Please please please I'm down on my knees... *sob*

JAZZ Lovin' It!!!

2004-11-21T01:16:00.000+08:00

After long years of giving it much thought, I have finally found something I definitely want to pursue. Before the Indakan audition was held, Melan conducted Jazz class. I was so surprized to realize how much I loved every bit of it! Contrary to my usual satisfaction of just being able to do the steps right, I had this special urge that moved me to do the BEST I can (at hindi ako ganun, bacause I'm usually contented with "OK na"...) I was so flabbergasted at how graceful Melan moved. The more I watched him, the more I was inspired to do better.

Long before, I knew that hiphop/streetdance is not really my thing. Perhaps I can also do the moves, and I enjoy those dances, after all, that's what we normally do in KEM Troupers. But then, a while ago, there was this fire burning in me... There was this "euphoria" that made me feel pleasantly different while I moved. Hay, basta ang sarap! Then, I knew it, this genre is for me.

Of course, right now I have very limited knowledge about Jazz. An hour-long class would never be enough. But I guess that was more than enough to make me realize how much I wanted to learn the craft. (Sigh, I'm just so sure how disappointed I would make my mom feel if she learns I'm more interested in doing this, than actually being ang engineer!)

All these made me remember our Dearest Ate Vicky, my greatest dance influence. I always looked up to her. She never failed to amaze me everytime she danced. I wanted to be like her. I even told her before how much I wanted to take jazz class. She said it was too expensive for a student like me. Moreover, I was convincing myself that acads should be my ultimate purpose. For a time, my pursuit of jazz kinda died. But when I got to dance it again a while ago, the rebirth of my passion automatically flared! Wow, the feeling was just so amazing! I have decided, if there's something I really want to do - that is learn jazz, and dance my heart and soul out! Of course it would still take a long time. Maybe when I finish college and get a good job... Maybe when I already have the luxury of time and money to take professional jazz training... Maybe, just maybe...

Sigh, going back... Until now, I still am at awe of what a great dancer Melan is... After our Jazz class, we had Streetdance next with Binoe and Ate Aimie. While we were dancing, Melan was moving along. He was just wonderful! How could he do all different genres so perfectly? I fell in love with the way he danced! Which made me think: IF ONLY he was straight, I might as well have courted him, no matter how conservative I am to such issues... Pero ganun talaga... Pareho kami ng hanap eh... =)

~ walang kwentang blog ~

2004-11-20T23:26:00.000+08:00

hay, pangit noh? Wala man lang perks tong blog ko. ='(

I have long planned on fixing and adding life to this, but then I really can't find the time... Lalo na ngayon, ENG'G WEEK na...

So, sa mga loyal friends na nag-pa-patronize nitong blog ko, THANKS ha? (sniff... sniff...) Touched talaga ko. =)

Pag matapos na lahat lahat, i'll see to it, this would be something worth visiting! =)

Hello Again, INDAKAN!

2004-11-20T23:14:00.000+08:00

Yoohoo!!! Indaker ulit ako! Hahah, I'm sooooo happy... Ewan ko bah, mahal na mahal ko talaga ang Indakan! Another reason to rejoice is that, lahat kami na nag-audition pasok sa line-up! Yey! =) Ewan ko ba, super pinahirapan pa kami, at pinakaba, tatanggapin din naman pala lahat! But then, happy pa rin! Yippee!!!

I'm so excited! And I just can't hide it! (wait lang, kanta ata to ah!) We're gonna meet tomorrow with Master Avel to decide on the music and concepts... I just know it, this is going to be something unique, and FABULOUS! Genius ata yun!

Basta, I can't wait!

UNO

2004-11-17T15:47:00.000+08:00

Whew!!!

I can feel the heat!!!

I'm just sooooooooooo psyched to get started with the Indakan endeavor! Finally, UP ACES released the theme for this year's competition - "UNO"... Whatever that means, heheh... Actually, it restricts all music to be used in the presentation to come from one artist only...

Ate Vicky called and told me that Our Master Genius - Avel, is so excited to do the choreo already... That's why we need to conduct the auditions ASAP. We have just contacted some of the alumni Indakers to be part of the screening panel (sosyal, diba?) At the same time, kinakabahan din ako!!! I really want to be a part of the competing group... again! But of course, that would depend on how I would perform on the auditions... Hay, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed...

ENG'G WEEK NA!!!

2004-11-17T15:29:00.000+08:00

Although I have already resurrected, pardon me for being thrifty with my upcoming entries... Kasi naman........

ENG'G WEEK na!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll be pouring ALL my energy, time, effort (as well as money) for the preparation para sa Eng'g Week... Not that I am obliged to, but once and for all, this is what I wanna do!!! My God, nalalasap ko na ang most coveted EWOC para sa KEM!!! Woohoo!!! =) Nobody else deserves it more than we do... Kasi, THE BEST ang KEM! No more explanation needed, enough said...

RESURRECTED!!!

2004-11-17T15:11:00.000+08:00

Heller!!!

Matapos kong mawala sa sirkulasyon ng pagkatagal-tagal, ako po ay muling nagbabalik!!!

Hahah! Nakakahiya kasi sa mga taong tumangkilik sa blog ko at na-disappoint everytime they saw na wala man lang nadagdag na entry...

Pasensiya po... Super haggard lang kasi... And for a time, I just didn't feel like writing...

But now, i'm back to the old me! =)

Na-miss Ko Pala Ang Eng'g

2004-10-09T23:04:00.000+08:00

I wasn't really feeling OK pa but then I had to go to Eng'g for Memcom Deliberations. Well, after five days of just lying in bed, I badly needed to go out and make langhap fresh air.

Nasa stairs palang ako, malapit sa IEC tambayan, the first thing I heard was Lou's voice. Sabi niya "Yacel! Ang payat mo!" Oh well, I sure was glad to have heard his voice again, but then I wasn't sure enough I liked what he said. Syempre, naiirita ako minsan kasi lagi nalang akong pinagtitripan na mataba, and being told na pumayat ako would be something I'd have to rejoice for! But I was just reminded of how sick I've been the past few days, and how much I've missed (I mean my final exams!!!)

Tapos nakita ko pa mga batchmates ko - Jaime, Martin, and Pol... I was supposed to be happy kasi sobrang miss ko na ang tambayan at ang mga KEMers, but seeing these people just brought me one more thing to worry about. Naisip ko na namang made-delay ako. Di ako makakasabay sa kanila next sem sa ChE 131 at 132. I was just halfway papuntang tambayan when my tears fell involuntarily. I was supposed to back off, yet it was too late. Nahiya ako sa scene na ginawa ko, Jaime just hugged me. I felt relieved, at least. I was unusually silent the whole time, and Jaime kept telling me to cheer up. I said the only way to make that happen was to make me take my majors next sem. Natahimik siya, that was impossible.

Hay, hindi ko na alam kung ano pa ang gagawin ko. I guess to accept it would not be a choice to make - because that's the only option I have. Poor me!

*P.S. At least may ikinatuwa rin naman ako sa mga pangyayari. Overwhelming pala ang feeling pag may nakakaramdam ng pagkawala mo, at pag may nakaka-miss sayo... hehehe... (,"(",)

So Unworthy!!!

2004-10-07T14:01:00.000+08:00

I was crying a while ago.

I just called my mom and I told her I can't take my Math Finals because I haven't prepared for it since I was feeling really sick. I was expecting her to get mad. BUT, she didn't!!! I told her I screwed up my other subjects as well, and I might fail... Still, she didn't get angry. I cried and cried and told her how depressed and ashamed I am of myself. Yet, she told me I shouldn't feel bad because she's there to support me all the way, failing grades and all. She repeatedly told me how much she loves me.

Now, I'm thinking if I really am worthy of all the love and luxury she's giving me. And the answer? I don't feel I'm even half as deserving of all these! I must have been so good in my past life for God to bless me with such a wonderful mom. I just wish in this life I am good as that so as to repay her with everything she's doing to my life.

Sigh, I wonder if she'd still be as kind if she finds out I broke the month-old lap top she gave me...

Hello Again, Math Building

2004-10-07T13:32:00.000+08:00

Im sad - and SICK!

I'm stuck at the dorm since I'm burning with fever... And guess what??? HINDI AKO NAKAPAG-FINALS SA MATH!!! Darn! Just when I thought I'd finally get rid of my least favorite building in the whole wide world, I'd be back there next sem!!! Pero wala ako magagawa, I just wasn't capable of taking the exam... Di ko naman ginusto magkasakit!

Sad! :'(

2004-10-05T02:19:00.000+08:00

Nalulungkot ako... :'(

Kasi I hate seeing the people that I care so much about being hurt by others... Nasasaktan din ako pag nasasaktan sila... And I found it really hard to see a dear friend a while ago feeling so depressed because he just had his heart broken... At mahirap din kasi the one who broke his heart is also somehow special to me... Of course, I'm out of the issue... And there's no one left to blame... But, as a friend, I want them out of the anguish they're in right now. I just pray their pains would immediately subside... I really have no idea how it's gonna happen, I just wish it would - ASAP!!!

Happy!

2004-10-05T02:17:00.000+08:00

Masaya ako, kasi pasado na ako sa ChE32! =)
Bait ni Sir Aids! =)

SicK akow... ='(

2004-10-04T16:00:00.001+08:00

Kailangan bang ngayong Finals Week pa ako magkasakit?

My back hurts! Bakit? Kasi nag-slide ako sa banyo... Landed flat on my butt! Sabi ng doctor, muscle strain lang naman... But if the pain doesn't disappear in a week, I'd have to go back to the hospital for x-ray...
My nose is running, and I can't catch it!!! Wahahah, corny bah? Bwiset kasing sipon to eh...
I have a cough too...
And as if these misfortunes aren't enough yet, may mas malala pa sa mga yan... My asthma's back!!! It's been almost a year since my last asthma attack, and I thought it has permanently left me. But i was proven wrong, kasi may asthma ako ngayon. I could hardly breathe... =(

Pinaparusuhan kaya ako ng langit? Mabuti naman akong tao ah... Mamamatay na ba ako? Sana hindi pa! I still have soooo much to accomplish... Mag-e-Eng'g Week pa ako! Saka I still have to let all the people I care about know how much i love them...

Oist, ikaw!!! Yes, you! I Love You! =)

Of Eyebags and Zits...

2004-10-04T15:11:00.000+08:00

Haven't had decent sleep for over a week now. In times like these, I realize the mirror ain't my best friend after all... I avoid looking at my reflection because all I see is the ultimate truth --- HAGGARD AKO!!! These nasty eyebags and zits have emerged from their burrows. I've got these dark rings encircling my what used to be "tantalizing" eyes (syempre, joke lang yung tantalizing part!) These zits, just a few however, have adorned my face, although I would appreciate it more if they just disappeared...
BUT... No matter how I torment myself, depriving it of sleep and recreation, the results still show no difference as if I haven't studied at all... Hay naku, kung sana itinulog ko nalang... Kung sana nanood nalang ako ng movies... Hindi pa sana ako papanget ng ganito... But, on second thought, at least masasabi ko sa sarili ko na may ginawa ako, di man maging super taas yung exams ko, at least alam kong I've yielded effort... kaya, KEBS nalang sa mga eyebags at tagyawat na to!

Yey, May Blog Na Ko!

2004-10-03T20:55:00.000+08:00

Hmmm... I should be reviewing for my ChE32 finals for tomorrow (bakeeet? apparently hindi ako excempted!)... But as usual, I couldn't get myself into studying again... I didn't leave the dorm the whole day coz I have allotted this day entirely for review, but then I just spent it procrastinating... as I expertly do.

Although wala akong nagawang matino today, I have made my own blog account naman, heheheh.... As if I still needed one more distraction to keep my mind off my studies... Hay, ganun talaga eh...